I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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