I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
