it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
