PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
