...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
