this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
