She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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