found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
