Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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