dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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