I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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