it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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