im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My underwear smells like fireworks.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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