Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
