At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
