Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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