Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
