Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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