I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
