Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I AM VODKA MAN
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
