MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
