She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
