i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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