I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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