my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The adults are the big ones right?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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