I CAN MOONWALK!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
