i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Acid is not a monday night drug
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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