yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
