I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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