I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
