What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
