your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
