Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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