I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
