i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
