So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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