Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
