I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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