If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just gift wrapped bread.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
