I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
