Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
