youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
