You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
