Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
