I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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