Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
