you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I can't turn off my feet"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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