What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
