It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
