If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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