What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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