I wish I could punch you in the face.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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