Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
