please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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