I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't deserve a penis
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
