We named our party play list daddy issues
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
