Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
